Skaitytojai klausia: emocinio ir mentalinio susijungimo etapai poroje.


 

Labai įdomu būtų sužinoti apie emocinio ir mentalinio susijungimo etapus poroje. Ačiū

 

Du žmonės poroje jungiasi trimis aspektais: fiziniu, emociniu ir mentaliniu. Su fiziniu ryšiu viskas daugiau mažiau paprasta – jis arba yra arba ne. Tuo tarpu emocinis ir mentalinis ryšiai kartais reikalauja šiek tiek pastangų.

Kai du svetimi žmonės susitinka ir tarp jų atsiranda trauka, paprastai ji atsiranda fiziniame lygmenyje. Tai labiausiai išreikšta pas vyrus, pas moteris paprastai kiek subtiliau, tačiau būna labai įvairiai. Porai pradėjus bendrauti užsimezga ryšys ir emociniame bei mentaliniame lygmenyse, apie ką pakalbėkime plačiau.

Mentalinis lygmuo yra paknakamai nesudėtingas. Tai kalbėjimas apie orą, pasidalinimas faktais apie kitus ar apie save, lengvas pokalbis nuo kurio paprastai prasideda dviejų žmonių bendravimas. Užtenka, kad sutaptų viena kita nuomonė, būtų pasidalinta įdomiomis istorijomis ar tiesiog bendrauti būtų malonu ir ryšys pradeda megstis. Mentalinį ryšį turime su žmonėmis, su kuriais “yra apie ką pakalbėti”. Sekantis šio ryšio žingsnis – sugebėjimas dalintis ir priimti priešingas vienas kito nuomones. Paprastai bendravimo pradžioje žmonės ieško panašumų ir stengiasi vengti prieštarauti vienas kitam, ypač jei jaučia trauką ir bijo išgąsdinti kandidatą į partnerius. Santykiams judant poros link, ateina laikas, kai nuomonės susikerta ir santykiai patiria pirmus išbandymus. Jei abi pusės sugeba toliaruoti vienas kito nuomones ir kartu rasti tinkamiausius sprendimus, susikuria paskutinis mentalinio ryšio etapas – partnerystė. Tokiu atveju du žmonės poroje yra vienas kito ir bendros naudos labui, o kilus konfliktinei situacijai kartu ieško sprendimo.

Emocinis ryšys yra sudėtingiausias ir keliantis daugiausia pavojų. Daugelyje porų partneriai taip ir nepasiekia gilaus emocinio ryšio ir santykius palaiko daugiau fiziniu ir mentaliniu ryšiais. Emocinio ryšio užmezgimas prasideda pirmais pasidalinimais apie tai, kas žmogui yra asmeniška ir kelia kokias nors emocijas. Paprastai pradedame nuo gerų emocijų, nes tokie pasidalinimai saugesni. Sekantis etapas – dalintis tuo, kas kelia neigiamas emocijas ties kuo sustoja dauguma moterų, o dauguma vyrų nenukeliauja net iki čia. Jei pora visgi pakankamai atvira ir pasiruošusi eiti gylyn, toliau seka pasidalinimai savo baimėmis, silpnumo akimirkomis, gėda ir paskutinis etapas – savo tamsiausių pusių atskleidimas vienas kitam. Tai labai pavojingas etapas kuriame žmogus rizikuoja būti pasmerktas savo antros pusės. Kita galimybė, kad vienas ar abu partneriai bus psichologiškai per silpni toliau gyventi poroje su tuo, ką išgirdo.

Kalbėdami apie emocinį ryšį kalbame apie draugystę. Artimas draugas yra tas, kuriam galime atsiverti ir nebijoti, jog būsime nuteisti. Poroje didelė dovana antrą pusę turėti taip pat ir kaip artimą draugą, nes kuo santykiai asmeniškesni, tuo sunkiau palaikyti švarų ir gilų emocinį ryšį. Atsiverdami mes parodome savo lengvai pažeidžiamas vietas, turime patys eiti į savo baimes ir tamsiasias puses ir toli gražu ne kiekvienas nori tą daryti. Dalis žmonių, daugiausia vyrų, taip atitrūkę nuo savo jausmų ir emocijų, kad patys nežino ką ir kada jaučia, tad tokiam žmogui užmegsti emocinį ryšį yra labai sunku.

Paprasčiausia emocinį ryšį užmegsti lengvai ir linksmai leidžiant laiką kartu. Net turintiems gilų ryšį ir galintiems atsidengti vienas kitam iki galo, gerų emocijų doze yra būtina, kitaip sunkios emocijos paskandins santykius.

Santykių pradžioje, norint užmegsti stipresniu emocinį ir mentalinį ryšius, patartina labai greitai nesileisti į intymius santykius. Tai daugiau taikoma moterims, kadangi vyras paprastai labiausiai susidomi fiziniu aspektu ir gali būti nesunteresuotas giliau pažinti moterį jei ši per greitai nueina į fizinį ryšį su vyru. Laikas susitikinėjant, bendraujant ir gerai leidžiant laiką kartu, padės susiformuoti emociniam ir intelektimia ryšiui ir pora turės daugiau šansų sukurti stabilius santykius.


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