Moterims – ar su juo būsiu laiminga?


Šiame straipsnyje apžvelgsime kelis esminius klausimus, kuriuos kiekvienai moteriai sveika užduoti pačiai sau pradedant kurti santykius su vyru. Moters psichika gyvenimo partnerio pasirinkimo atžvilgiu turi savų niuansų. Pirmas jų – moteris, sutikusi patinkantį vyrą, iš karto mato visą jo potencialą, t.y. koks jis galėtų būti partneris jai, tėvas vaikams, kokia karjera jis galėtų padaryti versle ir tt. Bėda tame, kad „galėtų“ dar nereiškia, kad galės. Dalis vyrų turi labai didelį potencialą, kuris visą gyvenimą ir liks potencialu. Deja, dalis moterų tiki, kad šalia jų vyras atsiskleis ir taps tuo svajonių riteriu, kurio galimybę jos mato, o ne tuo ne visai dėmesingu, šiek tiek išgeriančiu ir sunkiai randančiu darbą vyru. Kitas moteriškos psichikos niuansas – moteris prie vyro prisiriša palaipsniui. Nusprendusi „tik pabandyti“ po poros metų santykių ir gyvenimo kartu moteris pajunta, jog  vis sunkiau įsivaizduoja savo gyvenimą be jo, nepaisant to, kad šalia jo jaučiasi vieniša ir nelaiminga. Taigi, į ką turėtų atsižvelgti kiekviena moteris, pradėdama naujus santykius:

Pirmas klausimas, kurį verta užduoti sau – ar jis mane tenkina toks, koks yra? Ar man pakanka jo tokio, kokį matau čia ir dabar ar būsiu su juo laiminga tik tada, kai jis… (taps dėmesingesnis, daugiau uždirbs, imsis savo veiklos ir tt). Tai nereiškia, kad nereikia palaikyti vyro ir skatinti jį tobulėti, nesikalbėti apie savo poreikius ir norus ir neieškoti būdų, kaip vienas kitam suteikti malonumą būti kartu. Tai reiškia, kad jei vyras nuo pirmų dienų tampa moters projektu tobulesnio vyro kūrimui, o ne žmogumi su kuriuo gera jau dabar, pora pasmerkta nusivylimui santykiais ir skyryboms.

Antras klausimas – ar būdama su juo vis labiau patinku pati sau? Tas žmogus, šalia kurio pradėdate sau nepatikti ar net nemėgti pati savęs, yra gyvenimo partnerio priešingybė. Būti poroje su tokiu žmogumi moteriai pavojinga, kadangi po kurio laiko ji patikės tuo, kad yra kaip tik tokia, kaip jaučiasi ir kaip apie save galvoja. Sveiki santykiai yra tada, kai partneriai poroje vis labiau patinka patys sau ir jaučiasi geriau savo pačių atžvilgiu.

Trečias klausimas, kurį verta sau užduoti – ar aš jam rūpiu? Ar jis šalia ir tada, kai man blogai ar tik tada, kai esu geros nuotaikos? Ar paiso mano norų ir poreikių ar gyvena tik pagal save? Rūpestis parodomas veiksmais, o ne žodžiais. Viena iš klasikinių atvejų, kuomet moterys (vyrai taip pat) gauna skaudžias santykių pamokas yra aklas tikėjimas partnerio žodžiais „aš tave myliu“ neatkreipiant dėmesio į tai, ar jis tą meilę parodo veiksmais. Dalies moterų problema yra „sugebėjimas“ pasirūpinti pačia savimi neleidžiant to padaryti vyrui, kas sutrukdo jam atsiskleisti, o jai pamatyti ar jis sugeba atlikti savo kaip vyro pareigas ir būti užuovėja bei parama, ar moka būti šalia kai moteriai sunku, ar yra palankus moters norams ir poreikiams.

Ar jis atrodo idealus, nuostabus, tobulas ir vien jį pamačius svaigsta galva? Jei taip – atsargiai. Žmogaus vaizduotė labai laki. Užtenka kad keli kito žmogaus bruožai primintų kažką, kuo žavimės ir greitai visą žmogų paverčiame savo vaizduotės įsikūnijimu. Vyras, nuo kurio žemė sudreba po kojomis, greičiausiai taps arba nemalonaus atsipeikėjimo priežastimi pamačius, koks ji yra iš tikro (kas gali įvykti tik po kelių metų) arba priklausomybe dėl eilės priežasčių (buvimas su juo poroje kelia savivertę, audrina vaizduotę ir tt).

Norite būti suo juo ar be jo negalite? Jei negalite be jo gyventi, pats laikas susimąstyti. Žmogus, be kurio gyventi negalite gali daryti su jumis ką nori ir būti ramus, kad niekur nedingsite.

Daliai moterų ir merginų yra labai lengva sumaišyti sveiką abipusį ryšį su priklausomybe ir savo fantazijų vaisiumi nenorint matyti realios situacijos. Reikia pakankamai dėmesingumo tam, kaip jaučiatės santykiuose ir atvirumo su savimi nebijant pasakyti sau tiesą, kad šalia turėtumėte vyrą, su kuriuo galėtumėte kurti partneriškus, vienas kito palaikymu ir pagarba pagrįstus santykius.


Šioje svetainėje yra naudojami būtiniausi slapukai (cookies) rinkti duomenims apie svetainės lankomumą. Tęsdami lankymąsi svetainėje automatiškai sutinkate su naudojamais slapukais. View more
Cookies settings
Sutinku
Privacy & Cookie policy
Privacy & Cookies policy
Cookie name Active

Privacy Policy

What information do we collect?

We collect information from you when you register on our site or place an order. When ordering or registering on our site, as appropriate, you may be asked to enter your: name, e-mail address or mailing address.

What do we use your information for?

Any of the information we collect from you may be used in one of the following ways: To personalize your experience (your information helps us to better respond to your individual needs) To improve our website (we continually strive to improve our website offerings based on the information and feedback we receive from you) To improve customer service (your information helps us to more effectively respond to your customer service requests and support needs) To process transactions Your information, whether public or private, will not be sold, exchanged, transferred, or given to any other company for any reason whatsoever, without your consent, other than for the express purpose of delivering the purchased product or service requested. To administer a contest, promotion, survey or other site feature To send periodic emails The email address you provide for order processing, will only be used to send you information and updates pertaining to your order.

How do we protect your information?

We implement a variety of security measures to maintain the safety of your personal information when you place an order or enter, submit, or access your personal information. We offer the use of a secure server. All supplied sensitive/credit information is transmitted via Secure Socket Layer (SSL) technology and then encrypted into our Payment gateway providers database only to be accessible by those authorized with special access rights to such systems, and are required to?keep the information confidential. After a transaction, your private information (credit cards, social security numbers, financials, etc.) will not be kept on file for more than 60 days.

Do we use cookies?

Yes (Cookies are small files that a site or its service provider transfers to your computers hard drive through your Web browser (if you allow) that enables the sites or service providers systems to recognize your browser and capture and remember certain information We use cookies to help us remember and process the items in your shopping cart, understand and save your preferences for future visits, keep track of advertisements and compile aggregate data about site traffic and site interaction so that we can offer better site experiences and tools in the future. We may contract with third-party service providers to assist us in better understanding our site visitors. These service providers are not permitted to use the information collected on our behalf except to help us conduct and improve our business. If you prefer, you can choose to have your computer warn you each time a cookie is being sent, or you can choose to turn off all cookies via your browser settings. Like most websites, if you turn your cookies off, some of our services may not function properly. However, you can still place orders by contacting customer service. Google Analytics We use Google Analytics on our sites for anonymous reporting of site usage and for advertising on the site. If you would like to opt-out of Google Analytics monitoring your behaviour on our sites please use this link (https://tools.google.com/dlpage/gaoptout/)

Do we disclose any information to outside parties?

We do not sell, trade, or otherwise transfer to outside parties your personally identifiable information. This does not include trusted third parties who assist us in operating our website, conducting our business, or servicing you, so long as those parties agree to keep this information confidential. We may also release your information when we believe release is appropriate to comply with the law, enforce our site policies, or protect ours or others rights, property, or safety. However, non-personally identifiable visitor information may be provided to other parties for marketing, advertising, or other uses.

Registration

The minimum information we need to register you is your name, email address and a password. We will ask you more questions for different services, including sales promotions. Unless we say otherwise, you have to answer all the registration questions. We may also ask some other, voluntary questions during registration for certain services (for example, professional networks) so we can gain a clearer understanding of who you are. This also allows us to personalise services for you. To assist us in our marketing, in addition to the data that you provide to us if you register, we may also obtain data from trusted third parties to help us understand what you might be interested in. This ‘profiling’ information is produced from a variety of sources, including publicly available data (such as the electoral roll) or from sources such as surveys and polls where you have given your permission for your data to be shared. You can choose not to have such data shared with the Guardian from these sources by logging into your account and changing the settings in the privacy section. After you have registered, and with your permission, we may send you emails we think may interest you. Newsletters may be personalised based on what you have been reading on theguardian.com. At any time you can decide not to receive these emails and will be able to ‘unsubscribe’. Logging in using social networking credentials If you log-in to our sites using a Facebook log-in, you are granting permission to Facebook to share your user details with us. This will include your name, email address, date of birth and location which will then be used to form a Guardian identity. You can also use your picture from Facebook as part of your profile. This will also allow us and Facebook to share your, networks, user ID and any other information you choose to share according to your Facebook account settings. If you remove the Guardian app from your Facebook settings, we will no longer have access to this information. If you log-in to our sites using a Google log-in, you grant permission to Google to share your user details with us. This will include your name, email address, date of birth, sex and location which we will then use to form a Guardian identity. You may use your picture from Google as part of your profile. This also allows us to share your networks, user ID and any other information you choose to share according to your Google account settings. If you remove the Guardian from your Google settings, we will no longer have access to this information. If you log-in to our sites using a twitter log-in, we receive your avatar (the small picture that appears next to your tweets) and twitter username.

Children’s Online Privacy Protection Act Compliance

We are in compliance with the requirements of COPPA (Childrens Online Privacy Protection Act), we do not collect any information from anyone under 13 years of age. Our website, products and services are all directed to people who are at least 13 years old or older.

Updating your personal information

We offer a ‘My details’ page (also known as Dashboard), where you can update your personal information at any time, and change your marketing preferences. You can get to this page from most pages on the site – simply click on the ‘My details’ link at the top of the screen when you are signed in.

Online Privacy Policy Only

This online privacy policy applies only to information collected through our website and not to information collected offline.

Your Consent

By using our site, you consent to our privacy policy.

Changes to our Privacy Policy

If we decide to change our privacy policy, we will post those changes on this page.
Save settings
Cookies settings